Honeymoon

Honeymoon.doc

The best nine page musical set in the future on a space station orbiting the Moon ever written.

 

 

 

Honeymoon

 

by

Ron Campbell

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Celeste – Female- Age 25-35- Cute, British accent.

Charles – Male- Age 45-55- Self assured, British accent.

Robot – Male- Age 25-35- .Attractive, muscular, Robot accent.

 

 

SETTING

 

In the future.

On a Space Station orbiting the Moon.

 

 

 

(Lights come up on Celeste and Charles. They are floating in the air.)

 

Celeste

Darling? Do you love me?

 

Charles

Do I love you? Of course my precious little snuggy uggums.

Of course I love you.

Why do you think I married you?

Why do you think I arranged for this fabulous honeymoon?

 

 

 

Celeste

And what a honeymoon it has been. I can’t believe it’s almost over.

But do you really really love me?

 

Charles

Of course I do, my precious little profiterole of passion. I’m head over heels about you. Literally.

(Charles does a cartwheel in mid air.)

I know your father had to pay for most of this but there was no better way to express my love for you than to have our honeymoon here, on this space station orbiting the moon.

it wasn’t just for the zero gravity sex- though that was wonderful.

It was so you knew my love for you has no limits.

No boundaries.

No gravity.

 

Celeste

Oh darling. You’re too good to me. I only wish we could snuggle in the same cryogenic pod for the trip back to Earth.

 

Charles

Don’t be silly my darling. You know these escape pods are designed for single occupancy. Besides we’ll be revived from our cryogenic sleep before you know it. Back on Earth and in each other’s arms.

 

(They fly towards each other and embrace. A Robot enters.)

 

Robot

Two minutes to Earthbound Escape Pod Deployment. Please proceed to cryogenic pod one and two.

 

Celeste

Oh darling I can’t believe we have to go back to earth. Can’t we stay here another night?

 

Charles

No darling. In fact this station is scheduled to be scuttled tomorrow night. Her thrusters are pre-programmed to send her on a direct course to the center of the sun. And you know what happens there.

 

Celeste

You mean this station will be destroyed?

But it’s so nice. Those curtains. The breakfast nook. The Zero Gravity Chamber that we took such sweet advantage of. The Observation Bubble. Gone forever?

 

Charles

 I’m afraid so.

 

Robot

 Initiating Escape Pod Lift-off in two minutes.

 

Charles

Two minutes darling. We better get ready.

 

(They start to buckle into their separate pods. Celeste pops up)

 

Celeste

Wait. One more smooch.

 

Charles

We’ll have plenty of time for that when we get back to Earth, sweetheart.

 

Celeste

But being without you all those thousands of miles. I’ll miss you so much.

 

Charles

My little cupcake, you are adorable.

You’ll be asleep the whole way. And when you wake up you’ll be back on Earth and in my arms. Now slip into your pod and I’ll see you when we touch down.

 

Celeste

I love you.

 

Charles

I love you too. Now say goodbye.

 

Celeste

Bye for now. I love you. Sleep tight.

 

Charles

Sweet dreams.

 

Celeste

I’ll dream about you.

 

Charles

And I you. Nighty-nite.

 

Celeste

Nighty-nite.

 

Charles

Say goodnight.

 

Celeste

You first.

 

 

 

Charles

We’ll say it together, on the count of three.

One.

 

Celeste

I love you.

 

Charles

Yes darling.

Two.

Three.

 

Celeste & Charles

Goodnight.

 

(There is a pause. Celeste pops up.)

 

Celeste

Are you still there?

 

 

Charles

Yes sweetie. Now close the pod bay door.

 

Celeste

All right… I love you.

 

(Charles blows her a kiss and buckles into his pod. There is a pause. Suddenly the Robot starts gesticulating robotically, making alarm sounds.)

 

Robot

Malfunction! Malfunction! Pod number two oxygen supply compromised. Repeat pod number two oxygen supply malfunction. Proceeding with pod number one Lift-off sequence.

 

 

 

Celeste

Charles! what’s happening?

 

(Celeste unbuckles, coughing, and gets out of her pod.)

 

My pod. There’s no air in there.

 

Charles

(Getting out of his pod, checking the side of hers.)

It’s the oxygen lines. They’re corroded.

 

Celeste

Can you fix it?

 

Charles

Not without the proper tools and they’re back on Earth.

 

Robot

Proceed to pod number one. Final lift-off sequence initiated.

 

Celeste

What can we do? Can you go get the tools and come back?

 

 

 

Charles

Impossible. According to these dials by the time I returned this entire station will be hurtling into the center of the sun.

 

Celeste

But what does this mean? We can’t go back? We’ll die here in this space station? Is that what’s going to happen?

 

Charles

Not entirely.

We still have one pod that’s functional.

…And I intend to take it.

 

 

Celeste

 But darling…

(She sings.)

Don’t you love me?

Charles

(sings.)

I love you.

There is no one above you.

With the possible exception of me, myself and I.

I adore you.

I’d do anything for you.

Except sacrifice my life which I prize more than yours.

 I love you.

I love the air you breathe.

In fact I love the air you breathe a little more than I love you.

Celeste

Please darling.

It’s not at all charming,

To make these jokes, these jokes that tear at my heart.

 

Charles

Who’s joking?

Do I look like I’m joking?

Now excuse me but I’m afraid it’s time to depart.

 

Celeste

You’re ruthless.

How can you do this?

Is your conscience asleep? Do you even know what its for?

 

 

 

Charles

I love you.

Too bad I can’t love you more.

Now step away from the pod bay door.

 

Robot

(speaks.)

Pod one lift-off in T minus three seconds.

 

(Sings.)

Step away from the pod bay door.

 

Celeste

Step away from the pod bay door?

 

 

Charles

Step away from the pod bay door.

 

(Big Finish.)

 

Robot

(Speaks.)

Pod number one lifting off.

 

(Pod number one, with Charles aboard, blasts off.

There is a moment while Celeste and the Robot watch him go. Finally:)

 

Celeste

I can’t believe he bought it.

 

 

 

Robot

A simple matter of cloaking the actual flight data and reprogramming the stations flight path. In fact, If you look out the Observation Bubble you’ll soon be able to see his pod splashing down in the frigid waters North of the Bering Straight. Then I thought we’d take a quick tour around the moons of Saturn. I hear they’re lovely this time of year.

Celeste

Wonderful! But first, howabout a session in the zero gravity chamber?

(Celeste smiles lasciviously.)

Robot

Serving you, Madam, is of course my prime directive.

Celeste

Well what are you waiting for?

(Celeste giggles as the Robot sweeps her up in his arms and carries her   off.)

END OF PLAY

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